Is change really a good thing? Is new always better?...I'm having a hard time to believe it. I used to be a coward, so afraid of any kind of change, terrified of anything new, why? Because its comfortable and familiar, and i'm so desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar. Any attempt to change it will shatter the illusion of my so called beautiful future. It’s all too easy to get too comfortable in something. All this while, I have this inability to improve my station in life. I blame life for shitting on me all the time, bitching and complaining, never once accepting my own responsibility for my situation. It must be great to have an ability to just simplify things. Like if u dont satisfied with certain things in your life, or unhappy with it, u can just change it, throw it away, dump it. Just like that. Simple. But i dont have the ability to risk the comfortable situations on better things and future. So what i could do? I just sit there and be miserable cause i dont have guts to face change.
But in inevitable case, whether u want it or not, you have to face the change, embrace it, and make the best out of it, so u wont be a coward anymore. I mean you cant fight and run away from fate, can u? When god chose you, so be it! Yeah i gotta admit i never been through something more traumatic in my life, until now. And yeah my life’s in the shitter right now.
However, this is a defining moment, to define whether i have the courage or not, to face the change in my life. It teach me to be strong, and be more mature. It's a life lesson. There's a reason why god put me into this situation, to teach something about ME, to really to get to know myself, and to get closure. It change my point of view in life, to whole new, different level. I never even thought about the need to improve my station in life until now. I'm the guy that doesn't always realize the error of his ways at just the right moment. I used to take things for granted, until god finally chose me to teach some lesson...I finally learn to forgive myself, and forget, coz let’s face it nobody's perfect, and everybody make terrible mistakes in some point of their life, and sooner or later u gotta pay for those mistakes and sins.....
I know the future is scary, but you cant just run back to the past because it's comfortable and familiar. Yeah its really tempting, but its a mistake. And this is not giving up, i just feel that i had enough, there's a different between giving up and letting go they say. I have to surrender what i am, for what i could become. I believe this is the opportunity to sort my life out, get on with my life to a better future, closing the sad, past chapter of my life, only to open up a new, great one. I hope there’s a light at the end of the tunnel...
"It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right..."- Billy Joe Armstrong
