The Idiot.

Looking back at 6 years ago, i was young, very2 young when i found love. To me, it's a process of learning and growing, therefore i made so many stupid mistakes in order to be what i am today. Now when i think of that, i realized you must and should make mistakes in your life so you can learn from it and grow up. You need that mistakes, to evolve, to change. Back then, when i was still in relationship, i was really immature, paranoid, insecure, narcissistic, arrogant, overreact, inconsiderate, egocentric, pessimist, ungrateful, stubborn, ignoramus, hot tempered, irrational, condescending jerk and surprisingly lack of self esteem and self respect. To conclude them all, in other word, i was very2 negative. I always wanna win an argument, even at the cost of a relationship. And that was so foolish and immature of me. When i was in relationship, it taught me so much to improve myself to better, little by little. But just right when i think i'm about to change and improve myself to be a better guy, i lost the relationship. It's gone. And I really didnt see it coming, and i never thought that would happened just when i already become a changed man, positive person. I was too blind to see that i had that coming.

But i guess that's the price i had to pay anyway, for all the wrong deeds and sins i've done. I can honestly say, i learned my lesson, even it seems a bit too late. And i learned it in a very2 hard way. It nearly killed me.  To look at the bright side, if it wasnt for this breakup, i would never learn to appreciate life, and trying be a better person. I cant believe i said this, but technically i really need that tragedy to happened. Maybe i dont see it back then, but now, my eyes and my mind were wide open and clearer. I deserve all the pain and suffering. Really2 deserve it. With everything that happened, i can either feel sorry for myself or treat what has happened as a gift. It’s an opportunity to grow.  And I dont want it to be an obstacle to keep me from growing. I have to learn from that.

So the next time when i found love again, i mean new love, i will never ever ever taking it for granted. I mean what kind of idiot who screw up for a second time right? I wont be that idiot again. Not anymore.

The more difficult it is to reach your destination, the more you’ll remember and appreciate the journey.