Closure.

Lately I constantly try to torturing myself, to see whether i still feel, just to made me stronger. So that in the future whenever i do hear stuff about them from friends or whoever, i'm just numb. I wont feel anything anymore. It's like the worst is over for me.  I feel like i can completely start over again.  And there's nothing left that im gonna be anxious about. I guess i'll be free from the anxiety, the trauma and the heartache. 

I think now i wont get hurt if seeing her with her new guy anymore. To be honest, it does give me a sense of closure. I keep thinking now at least i can live a normal life. I wont constantly be worrying about things like "is she dating someone?" "what if she meets someone new?""do we have a chance?" because I have answers for all of those now. I see that she's so in love with him, and in a weird way, i'm glad that she's happy. So weird. It gives me a sense of relief that i've gotten past that stage and the worst is over. At least now i wont be worrying whether or not she's dating someone because i know that she is.  I got over it, finally, at least that's what i thought. There's really nothing much left there that she and her new guy say to each other that i haven't seen, so I dont really care anymore at this point. I just laugh when thinking back of this word that once said to me: " fall head over heels for u syg"..it's just so funny there's a people in this world that can actually take this word as a joke, n that's really says a lot about this person.

Its been more than a year. Though it still hurts and makes me sad at times, i can truly say that i'm glad i have gotten past that stage that most of us fear which is seeing our past love with somebody new. Yes it would hurt like crazy the first time you find out about it. You might become obsessed too. But in time, you'll also feel that seeing her with someone new takes away all the false hope that most of us tend to linger on. 

And at the end of the day, you will finally realize that she's not worth it.